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Being a WAHM can be extremely isolating, especially if you’re single as well. I used apps to find friends, and here’s my Bumble review.
My marriage recently came to an end. Very quickly, the one adult who I talked to on a daily basis was no longer around. And I was isolated and alone. That’s hard enough on its own, but I also suffer from PTSD and isolation can make that worse.
At first, I started dating again. But I’m just not interested in dating right now. I’m not even sure I want to share my life with someone again. I’m one of those people who likes to be single. But that didn’t mean I wanted to be alone. Since I don’t work with other people except online, I couldn’t just start talking to people and meet up for after-work drinks.
Being a WAHM mom usually means speaking to very few people on a daily basis, so I have to get creative. That’s when I turned to Bumble.
What is Bumble?
Bumble is a dating site with a slight twist. There is a dating element to it if you choose, but you can also set it to the BFF Finder. That’s what I chose to do when I wanted to find other women to hang out with. I literally just wanted to find friends.
When on the dating setting, it does things a little differently to other dating sites. You swipe as you would on the likes of Tinder, but if you’re in a heterosexual match, the woman has to message first. The idea is to avoid the creepers that can often be on dating sites. If you’re a woman who doesn’t like making the first move, it can lead to doing nothing. However, it will certainly get you out of your comfort zone.
In a same sex match, either person can message first. On the BFF Finder, you’ll usually match with people of the same gender and that means either of you can message first.
The catch is you have 24 hours to message, and the other person (or who depending on who messages first) has 24 hours to message back. It puts the focus on being proactive in making friends. Once you both do your first messages, you can go as long as you like between messages. Of course, the longer you go, the less likely someone is to message back.
Bumble review: A good place to find friends?
I’ve been on Bumble for about a month now. It was my therapist who suggested it for dating, but I ended up opting for the BFF Finder to test it out. I didn’t think much of it but was hopeful that it would lead to some friends.
It certainly has. I guess this is going to depend on your local area, but I quickly found women who were looking for something similar to me. They were new(ish) to the local area and were looking for friends. You see, in my area, people who have grown up here don’t want to make new friends because they have their circles, so you need to find others who have just moved to the area.
Because everyone is looking for the same thing (and it’s clear you’re looking for friends), it helps to take some of the pressure off the communications. You just chat away and then choose if you want to take it off the app or not. Once I get to know someone for a few days, I usually shoot them my number so we can text easier.
I’ve made a few friends. Some want to go out and drink while others want to meet up for coffee. Then there are some with kids who want to find other moms for playdates. It’s a great way to just make connections.
Yes, it’s only been a month for me, but I’ve already found a small circle of friends. I’ve been invited camping, I’ve been shopping, and I’m going out for dinner with women that I can just have a laugh with. I feel like I’ve got a social life again, and that’s something I lost in my marriage.
What do you think of Bumble? How do you find friends? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Check out Bumble for free and starting finding your friends.