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Your online dating profile is the first glimpse into who you are. Here are five things you need to include if you want to see success.
Most people won’t look past your first picture or two when it comes to your online dating profile. That doesn’t mean you should ignore the rest of it, though. This is a snapshot of who you are, and it opens you up to success.
I’ll be honest; when I’m looking through the online dating apps, I pay attention to the profile. This is often the case if I’m on the fence about someone based on their photos. It’s especially the case if I want to meet someone I can potentially date rather than hook up with. So, I know how important a profile is, as I can’t be the only one who does that.
I’ve also talked to others about online dating and what they look for in a profile. Here are five crucial items that need to be included to help find success in the world of online dating.
Get the photos right
Having photos is essential to online dating*. A lot of people aren’t going to look past this. Make sure your photos are recent and true to reality. I tend to add a new photo every six months or so to keep them updated and remove some of the older ones.
You want at least one clear headshot and one clear body shot. This allows people to see what you look like close up and what your whole body is like. Yes, there are people out there judging you. Ignore them; people just want to know what they’re getting into and who to expect when they meet.
Avoid anything that is overly edited or uses a filter. I hate seeing people in groups unless they make it clear who they are, and I despise those who put their (or others!) children in their pictures. You can say you have kids, but don’t put there faces on your online dating profile!
Show a mixture of who you are and what you like to do. Activity shots can be great to spark conversation, but you also want to show off photos of you having fun in general life.
Create that bio in your online dating profile
Your bio has a place. There’s a reason dating sites want you to create one. This is a look into who you are, what you’re interested in, and what you’re looking for in a partner.
You don’t have to add in a lot. Create something snappy that gives a little bit of your personality. You can use AI to write this for you, but do put some of your own style into it.
You want this to be casual and friendly. The aim is to highlight your personality and values. There are a lot of people who put in a list of what they don’t want. That’s great if it works for you, but it probably doesn’t. Remember people also need to know who you are to know if you’re interesting enough to swipe.
I do recommend that you include if you have kids or not—and if you want them. This is a deal-breaker for a lot of people, and hiding kids that you have only to tell someone months later is a huge red flag. Why are you hiding your kids?
MORE: 5 tips for dating someone with children
Share what you want and not what you don’t want
There are so many online dating profiles* that will make a list of things they don’t want. I have one line in my profile about what I don’t want, and that’s people matching with me just to tell me that they think I should dye my hair a natural color. Yeah, really!
When it comes to your profile, you want to focus on the qualities that you do want in a partner. If this is just for a hook up, make that clear. Don’t lead people on. Just let them know that you’re not interested in something serious. There are other people out there looking for the same thing.
Likewise, if you want something serious, let them know about that, too. Again, there are people out there.
Now what type of person do you want? Do they need to be passionate about the same hobbies as you? Do they need to follow the same religion? Do they need to have ambition? There’s no wrong or right answer here. You need to be able to have a conversation with someone you meet on these apps.
Share your hobbies and interests on your online dating profile
Let people get to know a little bit about you. You don’t need to include everything you’re interest in, but give a few conversation starters. It could be about your favorite movie of all time, or it could be something about a hobby that you love. Maybe you play an instrument or you enjoy photography.
If you’ve been on a recent adventure, share that. Or maybe you have something coming up and you’d love to get some tips about it. What can you share tips on in return? You could even include a fun factor or two about you.
There’s a dating app—I think it’s Bumble—that has little cards. You can fill out some answers that will help you fill out your profile. This is a great way to find questions that you wouldn’t usually think to answer to share a little about who you are.
When you have a few pieces of information about you in your profile, you can get a conversation started without the awkward “hi, how are you?” approach.
Keep your profile positive
You’re looking to date someone, right? The more negative you are, the more people will swipe left. They get a sense of your tone and your attitude through your writing. Someone who is overly negative or just a general dick is going to find themselves without many matches.
Don’t use this as a place to talk about past relationships. Don’t use your online dating profile to share negative experiences you’ve had. Sure, other people could relate, but you’re giving off the wrong vibe.
People want to feel excited about meeting you, so keep things upbeat. Once you start chatting, you can talk about the negative things about online dating or past relationships.
MORE: 5 online dating red flags to look out for
What do you include in your online dating profile? Share your tips in the comments below.
