5 major online dating red flags to look out for

5 online dating red flags

5 major online dating red flags to look out for

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Have you started online dating? Watch out for the bad eggs out there. Here are the five major online dating red flags to watch out for.

You’re entering the world of online dating. This can be scary and exciting at the same time. Of course, you’ve heard the horror stories, but you may have also heard the good things that have come from these sites.

You want to quickly wade through the bad to get to the good. That means looking out for the online dating red flags. There are a lot of them, but here are the top five that I suggest looking out for.

Those who say “my age is actually…”

As you start flicking through the profiles, you’ll see a common line is about age. Men especially will put down one age and then in the profile say “I don’t know how to change it, but my age is actually…”

This isn’t a mistake. Look at what you had to do to put in your age. In some of the dating sites, you have to put in your date of birth. In others, you physically enter your age. These people are purposely putting in the wrong ages so that they can get around the age filters that other people set.

The minute I see “my age is actually…” or something similar, I swipe left. If someone can’t get that part right, then I have no hope for them at all.

Online dating red flags involve inconsistent messaging

How often do the people you’re talking to message you? Do you get a lot of messages for a couple of days and then silence for another couple of days? You may even see that there is some sort of pattern to this inconsistent messaging.

Look, people are talking to other people on these dating apps*. You’re doing it too. However, if you’re enjoying a conversation with someone, you’re going to keep messaging them, right? You’ll stay consistent to show that you’re interested.

People who are inconsistent are not that into you. Or they’re playing some sort of game to see if they can keep you hooked. Either way, it’s a red flag to avoid.

They ask you for money

Do you get people who start up a conversation with you and then suddenly turn the tables onto a sob story? I actually haven’t had someone do this, except for a sob story about how their children don’t talk to them anymore—there’s probably a reason for that and it’s not the children. However, there are many women I’ve spoken to who have said they end up with a sob story about how guys are struggling to pay for things and want money.

This is the oldest scam in the book. Avoid these types of guys with a passion—and women if they do it too! People like this are looking to see if you will fund their lifestyle. They aren’t interested in a partnership. Some of them aren’t even interested in anything but whatever money you send them. They tend to be catfishes.

So, just treat this as what it is. An online dating red flag.

Online dating red flags involve pushing boundaries

A lot of people don’t like hearing the word no. This does tend to be guys more than women, but it does happen the other way. Just watch out for anyone who decides to push your boundaries.

I often get people asking me for my number. My rule is we meet up and then you can have my number after that. A lot of people are okay with that. They get it. I will hand out my Snapchat as that is a little more secure than my number, though.

However, there have been instances where guys have taken offense to this boundary. They initially appear to be okay with it and then they make snide comments about how the dating apps aren’t great for communication and how having my number would be better. They make no effort to meet, though.

That’s just a small boundary. There are others that people will push. Watch out for them. If they’re willing to push boundaries at this point, what will they do later on?

They speak badly about their exes

Exes are exes for a reason. We all get that. This doesn’t mean you have to bash your ex all the time. One of the online dating* red flags I pay attention to is the way that people speak about their exes.

Now yes, I haven’t been on the best of terms with my ex. Him having an affair hurt and destroyed me for a long time. I did bash him to friends and family. I spoke the truth about how he was to me. What I didn’t do was bring that into a date.

There is always the conversation of “how did your last relationship end.” In that case, I would explain it was due to an affair but that we were civil for the sake of the kids. That’s all I’d want to discuss at this time. And I wouldn’t mind if that’s what I’d hear from others. However, there were plenty of times I head the “my ex is crazy” line. Or I’d hear something else negative about their exes, who were usually the mothers of their children.

If you’re going to talk about the mother of your child like that, I want nothing to do with you. What are you going to be like when talking about me? I have enough toxic people in my life I can’t fully get rid of; I don’t need any more.

MORE: How to move on from a breakup without closure

What are your online dating red flags? Share them in the comments below.

Alexandria Ingham is a professional writer. She predominately ghost-writes in various niches, including fitness, finance and technology Everything is fully researched and well-written. Under her own name, she writes in the technology, business, history and weight loss niches

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