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There are many reasons to stay single, and there’s nothing wrong with it. You just need to assess your reasons to make sure they are genuine ones.
I will always support someone who says they want to stay single. I get it. That’s the way I’m living my life.
There are a lot of reasons to remain single. You get more independence, and you don’t need to worry about sacrificing a part of your life for someone new. I love being able to make a decision spur of the moment on the weekends that I don’t have my kids, and I love having the house to myself.
However, there are reasons to remain single that aren’t the healthiest. It’s important to know if you’re happy on your own or if it’s more of a fear response. Here are the reasons you should look out for that aren’t healthy for you.
You’re scared of being hurt again
You may have just gotten out of a bad relationship. I’ve bene in abusive relationships, and my ex-husband had an affair. Getting out of these relationships are hard, and it’s scary not knowing if you’re going to end up in another similar situation again.
However, you don’t want to stay single just because of the fear that you’ll be hurt again. If this is your sole reason to be on your own, you’ll want to go through therapy to get some help for it*. After all, it’s going to hold you back in many other parts of your life. You deserve to be happy, and you can’t do that when this fear is showing up in your life.
Don’t stay single if you don’t want to
Have you surrounded yourself with people who love to be single. Every time you talk about going on a date, they may say something negative about it all. They have bad experiences, and they’re trying to force you into their lifestyle. It doesn’t matter if their lifestyle isn’t all that healthy for them.
If you really don’t want to stay single, you don’t have to. However, it is worth working through anything left over from previous relationships. Work on yourself to get to a healthy spot mentally and then jump back into dating.
Because other people tell you to
You’ll hear a lot about the benefits of being single. There are plenty of health benefits, especially as a woman. There are also downsides to being single. Not everyone wants to stay single, and you don’t have to just because other people tell you to.
The only person worth listening to is your therapist. Most therapists will encourage you to work on your own problems first. That way, you can keep some baggage out of a new relationship so there is a better chance of success. The only other time a therapist is going to encourage a singlehood journey is if you’ve said that’s what you want.
You’re searching for a replacement for a partner
There are some things that you’ll love about having a partner. Now that you’re single*, you’re looking for a way to replace those things.
Now, yes, there are some things that you’ll want to replace. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean that you want to be lonely. There’s a difference between being lonely and alone. You’ll need friendships. What you want to avoid is replacing everything about being in a partnership. It’s about finding a healthier way of living as a single person.
So, if you’re looking at replacing all aspects of being with a partner, you may want to consider why. It could be that as much as you say you want to stay single, that’s not the truth. It’s okay to be honest with yourself, and that gets us to the last reason.
Don’t stay single just because you made that decision before
When we tell people what we want to do, we tend to feel like we have to stick with it. It doesn’t matter if people agree with us or not. We tend to get this feeling like we should just run with the punches and the downsides of our decisions.
We all get to change our minds, though. Of course, you don’t just want to flip flop between decisions. Have a genuine reason to change your mind, and don’t be afraid of what people think when you say that you’ve changed your mind. Sure, there will be some judgment, but that’s usually because they’re not happy with their lives.
Have you decided to stay single? Why did you make that decision? Share your comments below to support others in this journey.