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The last post I shared on this site was back in May 2021. And I wasn’t consistent before that. Where have I been with WAHM Lifestyle?
I know that I haven’t been consistent with my blog posts. I said that I would get consistent and then I didn’t follow through. You have every reason to roll your eyes and ignore me in this post. You have every reason to find someone else who is more consistent with blogging and WAHM tips.
However, I hope you give me a little grace. I hope you can forgive me for being away for so long. I’m about to share some very personal things about where I’ve been for so long.
I’ve been going through a difficult and messy separation recently, but the problems started last summer.
PTSD breakdown and the end of a marriage
During summer 2020, I suffered a PTSD breakdown. It was from an event back in 2005-2006, but it hit me hard during the summer. There are a lot of reasons, but the biggest one was the wearing of masks. I wear masks and I’ve learned to deal with the trigger, but the masks caused a lot of problems for my mental health.
And that led to problems with my (now ex) husband. I pulled away from him as I tried to deal with my PTSD. By the time I came to talk to him (about two months) about things, he’d pulled away too.
And that started the downfall of the marriage. He wouldn’t listen to me or let me in and I believed him when he said he “didn’t need to know.”
By the end of it, we tried to go through marriage counselling to fix things, and then after a lot of gaslighting and lying, he finally admitted to an affair. It’s been a big change in the house with my anxiety being through the roof and trying to figure out everything that went wrong, while also dealing fully with my PTSD.
Two things I’m grateful for are a good therapist and two brilliant children. My children haven’t even asked for me and their dad to get back together. They just want me to be happy after everything, and I think that is so wonderful of them.
The more I’ve looked back, though, the more I realize there was some emotional abuse mixed in. It wasn’t just the gaslighting. There was a lot of mental torture as my ex blamed me for absolutely everything and got angry that I had a PTSD breakdown. I’ve not even gone into all the details in this post. It was months of struggle and anxiety.
What’s the plan for WAHM Lifestyle?
Obviously, with everything going on, blogging was the last thing on my mind. I was doing the minimum with work just to keep the roof over my head and to stay afloat. But my head wasn’t in the game, and I couldn’t write blog posts that included some personal things when I wasn’t ready.
That’s changing now, though.
I’m ready to talk. I’m ready to share. And I’m ready to get this blog back off the ground. That is if you’ll still have me. And I hope you do.
Things are going to get a lot more consistent now. This I can promise now that the ex is out of my house and I get a little more time since we have 50/50 custody. I love my children, but I’m going to use my time without them productively and I’m focused on that.
WAHM Lifestyle is back in action.