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For a long time, many have been told not to speak out about abuse online. It’s so important to do it, but in a safe way.
Abuse happens in many ways, shapes, and forms. We’re often told not to speak out about abuse. To take the high road. The problem is the high road only protects the abuser.
It’s important to speak out about abuse. Even if you worry people won’t believe you, speaking out is both helpful to you and to others in your life. After all, there may be others facing abuse and they feel alone. Seeing you speak out* about it proves that they’re not alone.
Of course, you need to do it safely. You don’t want retaliation, and you don’t want to land yourself in legal trouble.
Avoiding defamation cases when you speak out about abuse online
Let’s start with the risk of speaking out online. You run the risk of a defamation case. After all, anyone can sue you for defamation, even though you know what you’ve said is true.
The only defense against any sort of defamation case is the truth. So, as long as you can prove that you are telling the truth, you’ll be able to deal with the case. It is still stressful, though. And sometimes, we don’t think of collecting proof when we’re speaking out about events that happened in the past.
Don’t expect people to come to your defense. Let’s say you told someone about your ex laying hands on you. You’re using that as your proof that you are speaking the truth, but that person you told has taken your ex’s side in everything. They’re not going to admit that you told them about the abuse in the first place. They may claim to have “forgotten,” or they may just say that they didn’t believe you when you did tell them.
So, you want your own proof. This is why a lot of people won’t speak out about abuse online. However, you can speak out in the abstract.
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Why speaking out about abuse is so important
Speaking out about the abuse you faced is important. The more people who speak out, the more confidence other abuse survivors will have. They see that they’re not alone, and they are more encouraged to also speak out. You could find that the person who abused you abused others as well, and together you can get the justice you deserve.
Getting justice is difficult, though. We’ve seen the way the courts lie. Why should the rich white guy lose his scholarships and future for actions he did? Well, there should be consequences to actions, but there are too many times that the consequences don’t happen. This discourages people from speaking out, which is why speaking out is even more important.
Then there’s the fact that you can end up with more support. When you don’t speak out about abuse, you end up with few people who understand what you’re going through. It’s difficult for people to realize that you have trauma from a relationship or a situation, so they act like it’s just a normal breakup and move on. As you start speaking out, they realize that there is much more going on and they can be people who you turn to afterward, or they can help you stay away from the abuser in the future.
If you speak out about abuse* online, you also get support from strangers. There are others who have been through it, and they can have advice on how to deal with a situation or when trauma arises. They can offer warnings on what they found triggered them, which can help you avoid some of the same triggers. You don’t always need to know the people personally who are helping you deal with your trauma; it’s amazing the type of help you can get from strangers.
So, don’t ignore the abuse your faced. Don’t think that you have to suffer in silence. Speaking out about it is an important part of recovery. You don’t need to “be the bigger person,” as all that does is let the abuser go free.
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What are you doing to heal from abuse and trauma? Share your thoughts in the comments below.